Automatic Transmission problems of the 2005 Toyota RAV4

I purchased a 2005 Toyota Rav4 in July of 2005, and have taken superb care of it over the years. However, the transmission blew up on me after just 89,000 miles. I was crossing a double set of railroad tracks when this happened, and it scared me half to death. It's costing me $3,000 to fix the transmission, and the guy at the garage couldn't even give me a reason for this happening. After some internet research, I found that this has been happening to numerous '01-'05 Rav4 customers that have reached just over 80,000 miles due to a faulty ecm that Toyota has decided not to recall. Now I need to pay another $1,200 to have the ecm replaced at the Toyota dealer so that this doesn't happen to me again. Absolutely ridiculous! how can they get away with something like this?.